Wednesday, 17 October 2012

The loss of a baby

I have struggled writing this and I have rewritten it on many occasions  (In fact this has been in my drafts since July 10) but I feel it is something that I must write about. The recent wave of light on Monday night where people who had suffered baby loss or been effected by it, lit a candle and put the picture on face book, has staggered me as to how many people are effected by it.  I cried more than one tear that night.  It touched me deeply when my sister lit one in support of us.  You never know just who is thinking of you and your lost babies.

Losing a baby is a terrible thing.  Whether as a Miscarriage, still birth, difficulties at birth, cot death or the many other ways it can happen.  Its a difficult thing to talk about and people still find it difficult to react and talk to people who have suffered about it.  We have Lost six babies,  so we know the pain and heart break it brings with it.  But when someone close to us lost a child we also found it difficult to talk to the couple involved.  I was really annoyed with myself because I didn't know how to react!

When we meet with people who have lost a child there is no perfect way to react.  No sure fire way to ease their suffering or make things easier for them.  The reality is you cant and it would be pointless  and possibly damaging to try and bandage the situation. After much thought, prayer and consideration these are my thoughts on the matter. 

        1.  Firstly don't pretend it didn't happen 
The couple will be deep in their own grief.  No matter when they have lost their child (early miscarriage or further along)  plans will have been made for He/she.  How they will fit in the family, where they will sleep, will mummy give up work, how will the baby be cared for etc.  Things will have been bought and stored away in preparation for the happy event.  The couple wont want to brush it all under the carpet and forget that the baby was a part of their lives.

2. Don't be afraid to mention it
Many people are afraid to mention it.  They maybe afraid to  make matters worse or to make the couple upset.  Crying is natures way of healing. It helps, that's why when we hurt, we cry.  Its OK to ask how they are feeling, how they are coping.  If they start to cry don't worry,  its not your fault, it was something they needed to do,  part of the healing process and something they need to do.

3.  Don't keep your own children away (although do be thoughtful and make each decision based on the situation)
  A week after we lost our first baby my sister-in-law gave birth to our Nephew.  We had always had a close relationship and saw her and my Brother mostly everyday as we lived in the same street.   When she had their baby she was afraid to come to see us, afraid she would be "rubbing it in"  That she would make our grief worse.  In the end My husband and I had to go and visit them.
We explained that we shared in their joy at their new arrival and rejoiced in the new addition to our family.  That their little boy was not ours.  As beautiful as he was, he was our Nephew and not our child.  We were pleased for them but still grieved for our child.  As I said judge each situation.  If necessary phone and ask before you visit.

4. Don't be surprised if they laugh and smile when you are there
This seems a strange one.  We had a situation where someone visited our house and we were in a "good mood".  (in other words we weren't in floods of tears and managed to hold a conversation) The visitors then later commented to my mother how we were coping and had "got over it well"
This couldn't have been further from the truth.  We were pleased to see the person, pleased to have a excuse to smile and talk about something other than our grief.  But we were still grieving,  inside we trying desperately to hold it together, to make it through the day and still be in one piece.  Just because you smile doesn't mean you have forgotten.

5. If they have other children don't assume the loss will be less

Just because a couple have a child or children already doesn't mean that they will feel the loss any less. We already had four children, Three of mine and one of my husbands, but the loss was as devastating each time as if we had no other children.
  Each child is unique and loved by its parents.  Each child and experience is unique and they will feel the loss no matter how many children they have

6. The biggest no no EVER
The thing that really hurt and we found hard to cope with was people saying things like, "it was meant to be"  Its for the best"  or as one good meaning doctor said,  "you are still young enough to try again!"

 Please remember that these are just my thoughts and feelings and not a professional opinion.  if you are looking for professional help please contact a person trained in this area.  There is a list below.

/www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk
www.babyloss.com/
bbc

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Hello everyone.
Well Ive had a long absence.  Unfortunately things have been a little crazy here.  We have had a busy time in lots of different areas of our lives.  I will fill you in in later posts,  But for now I thought id leave a message to let you know i haven't fallen off the end of the earth!

Everyone in the bloggy blanket swap should have received their squares from me but I haven't heard from anyone yet so I hope they made it ok.
I will post later in the week
hope you are all well
bye for now

Friday, 2 March 2012

My dresser



Hello!
For my birthday last year Mr CM bought me a 1940s dresser. I was so thrilled with it and set about filling it with all my favourite glass and china. I just realised I have never posted the photos so here they are!
It aslo houses Mr Cm,s record player that I bought him for Christmas





A cake stand.   I love this stand and it has been used whenever i have the slightest excuse to get it out!

I love this little set.  It has a Teapot, Milk jug and Mug. 

Just another little look into my world.
see you next time.  Bye for now x

Friday, 24 February 2012

its nearly march!

Hello again!
Once again the weather has changed here in good old Blighty!
Its has been very warm and sunny, Spring is definitely here!
I have had a stinking cold for a week so haven't been as busy as usual and sometimes its good to just snuggle under the duvet and get Mr CM to bring me lots of hot tea!  Which he does on a very regular basis when I'm feeling unwell!  He is a trooper!

Last week Son No. 2 and his partner went for scan for baby No.2 .  It turns out the baby is a Boy!  We are so pleased to be having a Grandson.  We have our two lovely Granddaughters and now a boy to add to the mix.  Lovely! The Baby will come in June so I have time to make him some squiggies and softies!

So here are the things that have kept me busy for the past two weeks.  I completed Mr Twizzle for my Nephew.  Its now the toy of choice and accompanies him most places.

I had a order for a knitted Peppa Pig and so i spent some of the time knitting her up!  I was very please with the way this turned out.  It has to be one of my best makes so far.  I love it!

A Peppa Pig  Made to order £15.

Mr Twizzle. A order from my nephew! 
 I also crocheted up some bunting as a birthday present for my niece.  She has so many toys that i wanted to make her something a little different.  She was eased with it anyway.  Now to start the Red White and Blue for the Jubilee celebrations!
Crochet bunting - A birthday present for my neice
I had seen this flower tutorial on Lucy,s Blog find it here! 
She has such amazing makes and everything is just so well made and pretty.  I love checking in on her blog!  If you haven't found her before take a look now.  I promise you wont be disappointed!

So this is my take on the flower.  Made in my favourite two colours and is destined for a place in our bedroom.

Well I guess its time to go.
Have a fun weekend what ever you are doing
Bye for now

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

BBBBRRRRRRRR Its cold!

Hello everyone!
wow how the weather has changed! Its so cold. I wont post pictures of the snow here as its pretty much the same everywhere!  We have had My littlest sister and her family staying for a few days.  Princess has loved having a playmate and its been good catching up with my sister.  Although going back to having a two year old in the house is a bit of a change!
So what have I been up to I hear you ask? Knitting mostly, with a bit of crochet thrown in for a change about!

I sent a parcel of to Preemies UK.  A couple of blankets and lots of baby Hats  for  use by the special care unit in hospitals.  From now on any Premature Knitting I do will be sent to my local Hospital. 
Peppa pig made to order £15

Peppa pig made to order £15
 I made the Peppa Pig for a little girl.  Her Mummy ordered it for her birthday and I hope she likes it!
It turned out really good and I'm very pleased with it.  
Crochet bag £5
Crochet bag £5
 On the knitting needles now are a Jumper for Princess, No make that two Jumpers for Princess!  and Raa Raa the Lion.  For those of you who dont have access to a two year old,  this is Raa Raa!

He is a noisy Lion who enjoys having fun with his friends!  Believe me after listening to the theme tune a couple of times you will be singing it all day! 

Well I'm off now.
Keep safe and warm where ever you are
Bye for now


Wednesday, 25 January 2012

For Sale

Hello there
I am havinga clear out and have the follwing items to sell

All books are £4 + postage






‎72 triangles made for bunting but never used. recycled fabric      £5 +postage

girls cot top quilt (no backing) 55cm x 85cm approx   £5 +postage

the start of a eye spy quilt £7 + Post
vintage fabric quilt top unfinished £12 + postage



If you would like any of the above please leave a comment and i will get back to you xx




Sunday, 22 January 2012

knitting and crafting away!

Hello there!
I know, two posts in two days!  Amazing isn't it!

Well i thought that i would show off my latest make.
Harrold!
Lovely ponytail

His name is Harold.  I finally finished him and he is going to be a one off knit for me as it was far too fiddly!

At the moment my WIPs include a little tank/vest top for Princess kind of based on this one here
I got the idea from this pattern but I'm making the top up as i go along.  Pretty much.

Also i am working on Mr Twizzle for my nephew here he is courtesy of Jean Greenhowes website
Ive knitted him up and now just have to add the extras.
I also bought some fabric to make my GD1 a patchwork quilt.
loving the flowers!

I haven't made her a quilt yet so I thought it was about time.  I love the different shades of blue and I'm excited to start this.  I cant decide on the pattern but i am leaning more towards the hexagon pattern. 

Today will be mostly spending time with the family.  I have promised to make Mr CM a coffee cake and Princess wants to help.  Maybe I can get some knitting in tonight when I'm watching TV.  Although Sunday night television is getting a bit drab for me. Bring back Downton and Larkrise TV executives please!
Bye Bye for now






Saturday, 21 January 2012

keeping things for best

Last week I decided to buy a teapot. Our eldest and his family had given us some Argos vouchers for Christmas and we had some left over do I thought id use them.
I decided on this one here 

At that time it was £12.99 but you got a set of teacups and saucers free with it so I thought it was quite a good deal.  That's until I got it home.  The quality was terrible.  Really rough edges and you struggled to get a decent amount of tea out of it.  So back it went. 
I thought I would look in Tesco or Asda when we did our shop.  Then I decide to give my china a quick once over.  Anyone who knows me knows how much I love my china! I have a lovely collection of vintage tea sets and cups and saucers mostly bought from charity shops and car boot sales.  I was washing my teapot which is kept on the kitchen  window sill and I thought "why not use this teapot?" "ooo no"  I said to myself  "that one is for best"  ( I often have these conversation with myself or God when I'm poodling round!)

My Christmas present from my daughter

But when does best come around?  Is it when rarely seen relatives come over?  When old friends come around for a cuppa?  I think that I am wonderfully and perfectly made (Psalm 139:14) Good tells me so, so I believe it!   So every day should be a special day.  A day for bringing out the best and using the best and being the best.
My first cuppa which  enjoy on my own in the morning thinking about the day and having time just me and God. The second I have with Mr CM about 8am where we are rushing around getting things ready.  Then the third we have together at around 9.30 am when princess and Son 3 have left for school/college the house is quiet and we have chance to talk.  All those are special cups of teas.  When my mother visits and we knit over a cuppa.  That's a special time too..  When friends come over and we catch up on each others news, once again this is a special time.
So now my "for best" teapot gets used everyday!

Oh course this applies to other things (not just teapots!)  Why not put on those shoes you have been keeping for best,  give yourself a spray of that expensive perfume you have kept for special occasions.
Just make today the "best" day.  Go on you deserve it!
Bye Bye for now

Monday, 9 January 2012

A busy first week!

And here is why!

The Gruffalo!  My daughter absolutely loves the Gruffalo.  I may have mentioned it once or twice here!

She first discovered the book when she  was about two years old.  It has become a bedtime constant and now she reads it to us.  We know all about his knobbly knees and turned out toes and his purple prickles!  So when i found the pattern for him here ravelry  I knew he was a must knit.  So I got him finished and my nephew saw him.  Now he wants one,  then my brother-in-law asked for one for my niece.  So now I am knitting no. 3 .  Well it keeps me busy!

http://crafty-mum.blogspot.com/

100_2506

I forgot to show one of my makes from the week before Christmas.  It was so cold and Poppy our little chichi dog was getting really cold.  So I whipped her up a little jumper. I put it in her stocking Christmas eve. Please excuse the marks on the jumper.  as soon as she had unwrapped it Princess insisted on taking her for a walk!  Even if it was raining!

100_2507100_2508

It was made from old odds and end yarns that i had left over from other projects so was the perfect stash buster!

its really cosy and Poppy loves it!  She looks so cute in it. 

I was blessed to receive this book

2307125996404040_1

It has some fantastic patterns in.  one of my favourites is the huggy bunny.  I feel I will be making a few of those this year! 

On the needles today is this

hedgehogs1

Isn't he so cute!  I have been waiting to start him for ages!  He is the town crier from the Jean Greenhowe knitted hedgehogs pattern book.  I cant wait till he's finished!

Well that's all from me today.  Have a lovely blessed week

Bye bye for now x

Sunday, 1 January 2012

Welcome to 2012

Hello everyone!  Happy new year!  I hope you had a blessed Christmas however you spent it.  for us it as mainly spent with family.  We made a visit to Mr CMs parents just before Christmas and then spent the day itself with our children and my two little brothers and their families.
well they are younger than me!

It was a nice day all round.  My two elder sons came along with their families although Son No 1  had to leave after a hour as he was playing darts with my brothers and managed to dislocated his arm so needed to go to the hospital.  Merry Christmas!

Family time is very important to me and I love being with my children and Grandchildren.  The years have flown  its only when I sit and look at them I realise how fast it has gone!
Sleeping at Grandmas and Grandads

New Years eve was a new one for Mr CM and I.  We spent our first one ever alone with none of our children at home!  We have never been without at least two of them at home and they were all gone!  we enjoyed the time by snuggling up watching a film and eating choccies!


Princess has just discovered the Joy of having a sleepover.  Last week I was saying to my sister-in-law how she wouldn't sleep out and Mr and I couldn't have any nights out etc.  Then on Friday she announced to my brother that she wanted to sleep at his.  she was quite insistent so we let her sleep.  All the time we were expecting the midnight phone call to pick her up but it didn't come.  She had a great time!  Then last night she asked her big brother could she sleep there!  First we couldn't get her to sleep out and now we cant get her home!
GD2 enjoying her choccies!
New years resolutions?    I shall carry on with my Challenge 52 that I completed last year but apart from that I have decided to take things as they come.  We are looking forward to the birth of our third grandchild and enjoying spending time with our other two granddaughters.  I want to learn a new craft and also make a couple of Union Jack cushions for our sofa but i have all year to do that!

Well time to go.  I hope your new year will be filled with Love and blessings and I look forward to reading and hearing about everyones adventures in 2012!


A cleaner version of GD2!



And Im back!!!

Hello lovelies! So after a short break, I'm back!   The break was nothing special.  No time away or illness.  I just ran out of thing...